Finding the loneliness and meaning of Xia Kong’s growth in the virtual world of numbers

Xia Kong is a character who has just been born in the game world. Her growth path is like a story that slowly unfolds in a dream, full of numbers, materials and the flow of time. Low-frequency sail core, medium-frequency sail core, high-frequency sail core, burning phosphorus bone, crystallized phlogiston… These seemingly cold names are like some kind of symbols in my eyes, guiding a secret journey.

Sometimes, I sit by the window, listening to the sound of wind chimes not far from the window, thinking about the numbers in this game. The 29 low-frequency tide-eroded sail cores are very much like the little happiness we have worked hard to accumulate in reality. Although not dazzling, they are indispensable. 40 medium-frequency sail cores, 52 high-frequency sail cores, 61 full-frequency sail cores, the numbers gradually pile up into an invisible mountain, and the process of climbing it is like the life challenges that everyone must face.

The materials in the game are not just game materials, they are witnesses of time and a rhythm of waiting. In order to collect the Burning Phosphorus Bone, I repeatedly brushed the Lair of the Sighing Ancient Dragon 46 times. At that moment, time seemed to freeze, with only the flashing numbers on the screen and my fingers clicking repeatedly. My heart, like the sea at night, is sometimes calm and sometimes ripples.

I think of the lonely protagonists in Haruki Murakami’s works. They are often looking for something, either a memory or a peace. In the game, what I am looking for is the accumulation of materials and the growth of that “Xiakong”.

The process of collecting materials is lonely. No one will always be by your side. Even the closest friends can hardly truly understand this patience and persistence. Just keep brushing monsters, keep accumulating, and keep waiting. This process is very similar to some kind of inner practice in reality.

Whenever I get a piece of material, there is always a little satisfaction in my heart, like drinking a cup of warm coffee alone late at night, and the warm current slowly penetrates into my heart. But this satisfaction is short-lived, because the demand for the next material will soon appear again. So, I returned to the dungeon again and again, repeating the monotonous actions again and again.

This is like the recurring theme in Haruki Murakami’s works: the impermanence of life and the repetition of daily life. You know that this road is boring, but you can’t stop moving forward. We are all lonely travelers, moving forward in the tunnel of time.

The number of materials for the manufacture of weapons and resonance circuits also adds weight to this journey. The gradual progress from simple shackles to special shackles seems to be a little bit of growth and transformation in life. The repeated collection of crystallized phlogiston is like the experience and insights we accumulate in life. The cost of 330,000 shells is like the careful calculation of every penny in reality.

I began to imagine that if Xia Kong was a real person, would she also look at the starry sky outside the window in the dead of night and think about her future path? These materials are her diary and the footnotes of her youth.

Although the world in the game is virtual, it reflects certain aspects of our real life. The collection of materials is our management of time, our persistence in goals, and a confirmation of ourselves.

Occasionally, I would imagine myself sitting with Xia Kong and sharing stories about collecting materials. She might tell me about the exhaustion every time she killed the Sighing Ancient Dragon, the anxiety every time she waited for the crystallized phlogiston to drop, and the helplessness and hope behind the seemingly endless expenditure of shell coins.

We are all lonely travelers in this world. Xia Kong in the game and I in reality carry our own missions and dreams, looking for our own meaning in different time and space.

So, I continue to record, continue to kill monsters, and continue to accumulate. Because behind these constantly accumulating numbers is my expectation and love for life.

This is a story about patience, loneliness and growth. Maybe there is no gorgeous ending, but it really exists in my world.


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