She walked into the slightly old teahouse, and the familiar smell hit her face, making her frown. The windows of the teahouse were somewhat in disrepair, and the sunlight shone through, sprinkling on the wooden tables and chairs, exuding a kind of calmness and helplessness of time. She sat down quietly, next to an old man with a dry face, a white beard, and a bit of alienation in his eyes, as if nothing in this world could attract his attention. She did not disturb him, ordered a cup of tea, but her eyes always stayed outside the window.
She knew that no matter where she went, her heart was always empty. She had tried to fill that empty place with a series of relationships, but she often got deeper and deeper into it. Every relationship was like a hole, sucking away her youth and enthusiasm, but never really bringing any substantial satisfaction. It seemed that her life had never had a real peace. Those laughter, tears, attachment and alienation are ultimately just insignificant ripples in the torrent of time.
In her memory, there was a warm man. At that time, the streets they walked together, the fluttering wind, the low dusk, everything seemed incredibly harmonious. She once thought that if everything could remain so simple and pure forever, she would be a happy person. However, happiness is always so short-lived. Later, they left each other, with different life trajectories and different pursuits. She didn’t know if he still remembered her now, maybe he had a new life, and she was still in the same place.
Whenever she recalled those days, she always felt a little pain in her heart, like a deep wound, sometimes aching, sometimes bursting out completely. She tried to bury this relationship in her heart and tell herself that it was over, but the memory always followed her like a shadow, reappearing in her dreams from time to time. She knew that this relationship had no meaning, but she couldn’t completely withdraw from it. Emotions are so complicated, and fate is so unpredictable.
She picked up the teacup and took a sip. The taste of the tea was a little bitter, as if it matched her mood at the moment. She looked at the sky outside the window and sighed silently in her heart. Time is ruthless. It takes away the youth of one person after another, and also takes away her love and dreams. She had imagined countless times that she could get out of this pain and find her own happiness. But life is always contrary to one’s wishes, people’s hearts are unpredictable, and fate is even more teasing.
In those lonely nights, she had thought about whether one day she could walk with someone again and go through the past dislocations and reluctance. She imagined that the two of them could have a warm home, and although life was plain, it was stable enough. However, every time she woke up, reality was always so cruel, and she still faced every lonely morning alone. She gradually realized that happiness was just an illusion and might never be realized.
In this world, how many people live like her, chasing those unattainable things, but in the end there is only loss and helplessness. She has become accustomed to loneliness, accustomed to quiet days, and even began to reconcile with herself. She began to try to find solace for her soul, perhaps the words in the book, or the endless scenery outside the window. She tried to find a trace of her own peace in these small moments, even though she knew it was just a compromise with life.
However, every night when it was quiet, she still felt a hole in her heart, a hole that she could never fill no matter how hard she tried. She understood that she was a person who could not escape fate after all, and the tortures and tricks of life, like an invisible rope, entangled her more and more tightly.
She knew that life was not as simple as she desired. It was full of variables, full of unpredictable pain and confusion. Perhaps the essence of life lies in this uncontrollable fate. When you feel that you are ready, fate chooses to let you fall; when you feel that you have walked out of the lost path, it will use a heavy punch to push you back into the abyss.
She looked at the old man again. He seemed to have been freed from the troubles of this world. There was no distraction in his eyes, as if he had seen through the brevity and impermanence of life. Perhaps, only when she reaches his age can she truly let go of her past obsessions and pains and learn to reconcile with fate. She sighed, and a complex emotion suddenly surged in her heart.
She knew that no matter what, time would take everything away. She could not stay in the memories of the past, nor could she continue to linger in this relationship. Life never waits for anyone. It is like a hurried train, always taking us through one station after another without knowing it. Perhaps, at the next station, she will meet a new self, or a new him. Perhaps, everything will become less important.
However, no matter what, she will continue to live, living in that turbulent world. Although no one can really grasp her own destiny, she will still find her own sky between every sunrise and sunset.